we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I need a burrito and a hug.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...