no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .