carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dating After Heartbreak
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee