She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process