sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
