she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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