grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Buhtt sex?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
