there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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