I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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