Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
