just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
