I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
