I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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