literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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