It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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