I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
