remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
