my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
