Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
do nipples grow back?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize