I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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