So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sarcasm needs its own font
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
