She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
