all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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