He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
