Can i not drive my cunt home
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize