so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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