I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
