New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
