My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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