If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
