yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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