glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
