we're chasing vodka with high fives
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
