woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
