Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
