Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dear god my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize