Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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