HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
