I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
