nut hugger
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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