i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
