I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and she was petting her beer can
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
