I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
smell my finger.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
