so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
