Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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