I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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