the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
