my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
