OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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