She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize