did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
