im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
