come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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