Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
