let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
