is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
