You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
