I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
