Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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