Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
