So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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